Your Healing is Bigger Than You: How Personal Growth Fuels Collective Liberation

February 17, 2025

Healing is Personal—But It’s Never Just About You

The other day, someone came up to me after a presentation and shared that something I said had changed their life.

We were in a joint meeting, and I called someone in for the way they were speaking to a colleague. I hadn’t given it much thought at the time—it was just a moment of holding space for dignity and respect.

But this woman told me how that small moment inspired her to speak up for a family member who was being unfairly teased.

And not just that—she had started having conversations with her daughter about what it means to stand up when someone is being treated unfairly.

I was blown away. This woman was telling me that something I said—not even to her, but simply in her presence—had rippled out into her life, her family, and her children.

And here’s the wildest part: I didn’t even remember the exact moment she was talking about or the precise words I said.

But what I did know was that, during that time, I had been working with my own therapist on setting healthy boundaries and expressing my authentic self.

It was beautiful to witness that work manifesting in ways I didn’t even realize at the time.

That was a full-circle moment that reminded me of an important truth for cycle breakers: Your healing is bigger than you.

So Let’s talk about it—how your healing is deeply personal, but never just about you—and why that’s a good thing.

Your Pain Didn’t Begin With You

I remember sitting in a therapy session, exhausted from explaining why I felt the need to handle everything on my own.

“I don’t want to burden anyone,” I said. “I should be able to handle this.”

My therapist looked at me and asked, “Who taught you that?”

That question hit me in the chest.

At first, I wanted to say, “No one—I just know it to be true.” But then I sat there, and the memories surfaced:

Watching my mother handle everything without asking for help, stretching herself thin until exhaustion was her normal
My grandmother telling me to “never let them see you sweat”—because showing struggle meant weakness.
The women in my family carrying emotional loads so heavy they should have been shared, but instead, they swallowed their pain and kept moving.

And just like that, I realized: This wasn’t just mine.

The pressure to be strong, self-sufficient, and endlessly responsible didn’t start with me. It was passed down, wrapped in stories of survival, whispered through generations of women who had no choice but to carry on.

But I have a choice.

We all do.

And when we heal, we don’t just do it for ourselves. We do it for the ones who came before us and the ones who will come after.

The Patterns We Inherit & The Power We Have to Change Them

Think about some of the unspoken rules you were raised with.

Maybe you grew up believing that:

- Asking for help makes you weak.

- Success is the only way to be valued.

- Love is something you earn, not something you deserve.

- Strength means carrying everything alone.

Where did those beliefs come from?
Who in your family or community lived by them?
And more importantly—do you want to keep carrying them forward?

Healing isn’t just about moving forward—it’s about stopping what needs to end and creating something better in its place.

You get to decide what healing looks like for you, your lineage, and the people who come after you.

Healing Won’t End With You – The Power and Promise of Collective Liberation

Collective liberation means none of us are truly free until all of us are free. Our struggles—whether personal, generational, or systemic—are connected.

For too long, we were taught that caring for others meant abandoning ourselves. That love meant self-sacrifice. That responsibility meant carrying burdens alone.

But true collective liberation isn’t about one person fixing everything. It’s about each of us doing what we can, when we can, in ways that honor our well-being.

Through that lens, healing isn’t just about feeling better; it’s about transforming our relationships, communities, systems and even the generations to come. And when we do this, we create space for others to do the same.

This also means that caring for others and ourselves are inextricably bound.

There are seasons of our lives where we have capacity to show up in beautiful ways for those around us and other where we barely have capacity for ourselves. In those seasons where we don’t have overflow, putting yourself first, choosing rest, seeking support, and allowing others to show up for you IS the work.

Living in this is both a radical and beautiful act of Collective Liberation.

How Our Personal Healing Impacts the Collective

You Model What’s Possible
When you choose therapy, self-compassion, or saying no without a 3-paragraph explanation—you show others that it’s possible.
You Disrupt Generational Patterns
Your healing changes the stories passed down in your lineage. Instead of normalizing burnout, you model balance. Instead of tolerating toxic relationships, you teach self-worth.
You Build Stronger, More Supportive Communities
Healing isn’t about isolation. It’s about showing up with more clarity, patience, and self-trust—allowing us to engage in collective action with intention and sustainability. When we heal, we become better at listening, collaborating, and responding to others with care rather than reacting from unprocessed pain. Healing strengthens our interdependence, ensuring that we uplift and support each other from a place of wholeness rather than depletion.
You Shift Collective Consciousness
The more we normalize healing, the more the world changes. Therapy stops being stigmatized. Rest becomes a right, not a reward. Self-worth becomes the standard, not the exception.
Healing Brings Clarity, Capacity, and Sustainable Action
Healing gives you the capacity to show up without losing yourself. It helps you understand that impact doesn’t require burnout. And most importantly, it helps you trust yourself—your emotions, your instincts, your worth.

At the heart of collective liberation is the understanding that we are all connected. Healing is not about self-sacrifice, but about honoring that you and I are both important. We create a world that works for all of us when we ensure that everyone has the space and support to thrive.

Healing is not a solo mission. It is interwoven, connected—the way it was always meant to be.

Healing Isn’t Just About You—But It Starts With You

You can’t fight for a better world while neglecting yourself.
You can’t demand justice if you won’t give yourself the grace to rest.
You can’t preach healing if you’re still running on empty.

Healing is not separate from justice.
Healing is not a distraction from the work.

Healing is the work.

And it starts with you.