For me, back-to-school was always a time filled with mixed emotions. Recently, while conducting a personal beliefs audit-As is common for practitioners of EMDR, I noticed how positive beliefs related to intelligence, and capability stood out prominently. This reflection took me back to my childhood, where some of my most positive memories were tied to the excitement of returning to school.

I vividly remember the thrill of organizing and reorganizing me school supplies. Each item, from notebooks to pencils, represented a new possibility. The satisfaction of finishing my summer reading log, often just in the nick of time, and setting ambitious goals like becoming the student of the year, fueled my enthusiasm. These moments made me feel accomplished and ready to tackle the new academic year.

I see clearly now how for each of us, our unique experiences with back to school speak a deeper experience. For example, although I didn’t have these words back then, nor was I present to those emotions, I viewed academia as a way out of poverty and a means to make my first-generation family proud. The praise I received for my intellectual capacity was a source of validation and encouragement that I could experience a tomorrow that looked different than my today. And, I desperately wanted it to look different. his is the journey of a young cycle breaker in the making. Yet, as I reflect on these memories, I also grieve a little.

Academia was not just about learning for me; it was about survival and proving my worth in a world that often felt stacked against me. The weight of expectations and the pressure to succeed sometimes overshadowed the joy of learning.

I also recognize that not everyone shares these sentiments. You might be reading this and thinking “Who invited this one to cookout “… and that’s okay! Many of my peers and friends had different experiences with back-to-school time. For some, it brought annoyance and prayer for the last few days of summer camp, too much TV, and late night bed times to last just a little longer! For others back to school was filled with anxiety, dread, or even fear. These experiences too, when explored speak to a story line developed about who we are, how the world works and what resources are most likely to help your survive, if not thrive.

Bridging Past and Present

Today, I hold the “AND” in my experience. I thoroughly enjoy the glimmers of positive aspects from my childhood while back-to-school shopping with my little one AND I also allow myself to grieve for my inner child. That little girl wore the pressures of the world on her head without really knowing it. This ability to hold the and was not always accessible to me.

This was something that felt very “either-or” for me several years ago before my own personal journey with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy. In fact, “holding the and” complicated my cycle breaker journey more often than not; leading me to feel confused, anxious or guilty about necessary choices I needed to break needed cycles within my family system.

Cycle breakers often go back to understand the choices they made in order to break cycles. This is powerful, important work, just as being hyperfocused on the new school year did, in fact, serve me. However, these choices are not always the same ones that help us sustain cycles of healing, resiliency, and growth. That hyperfocus on the school year grows into glorifying all nighters, crippling imposter syndrome, and the fast track to burnout if we are not able to release the cycle breaker identify and make space for a new identity as a cycle maker. The transformative power of EMDR, among other supports helped me update those old storylines that have outgrown their usefulness, allowing us to integrate past experiences with a new, healthier, more sustainable narrative.

Now, on the other side of EMDR therapy and regular Release & Reset practices, I can hold the “and”—grief and joy, past and present. Most importantly, I can, with a level of clarity, plan my time and approach to back-to-school with my daughter in a way that honors not just my inner cycle breaker but also my cycle maker. Together, we create new positive memories, lament the end of summer cookouts by the pool, and look forward to the growth and new friendships in school year ahead.

This is the beauty of healing—being able to go back and “feel it to heal it” and “grieve it to leave it”. It’s about giving ourselves permission to feel what was not accessible before, without feeling overwhelmed by it. When we do this, it allows us to come out on the other side, with more clarity, confidence, compassion, energy, and what I call, open-heartedness. This is the real destiny of the cycle breaker and what I hope for you (and me).

Reflect and Explore

What was your relationship with back-to-school like growing up? Did you love the fresh start and the smell of new books, or did you dread the end of summer freedom? Let’s take a moment to share and reflect on these memories together.

• How do your memories of back-to-school inform your met and unmet needs?
• Is there anything you can celebrate or bring forward into your present life?
• Is there anything you need to grieve or release?
• How can you turn up the volume on glimmers and turn down the volume or release triggers related to this season?
• What can you do to prevent the build-up of stress that is so common during this transitional season?

Engaging with our past helps us understand our present better and shape a healthier relationship with the future. Whether you loved or hated back-to-school time, your experiences are valid and worth exploring.

Resources for Support

If you need more support with this, I want to share two helpful resources:

Resource #1: EMDR Therapy and Intensives
EMDR therapy is a powerful method for processing past trauma and updating old storylines. Our EMDR intensives provide focused, extended sessions designed to achieve significant progress in a short period. These sessions can help you address deep-seated issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Resource #2: Release & Reset Quarterly Reset Experience
Enroll in our Release & Reset Quarterly Reset Experience and get instant access to a comprehensive support system. This program includes on-demand resources, a 30-day challenge, and live group coaching sessions to help you navigate the back-to-school season and beyond.

Your Healing is in sight!

Explore these resources to find the support that best fits your needs. To learn more about EMDR intensives, schedule a consultation with us. For immediate support, enroll in the Release & Reset Quarterly Reset Experience!

Let’s honor our journeys, both past and present, and support each other in creating positive, nurturing experiences for ourselves and our loved ones.